Dear Warner Brothers,

As a poor hosed college student, I have spent many a month where I have not bought any movies. Finally, I got some money for my birthday and decided to buy the film March of the Penguins. However, I did not read the very fine print, and when I got home I found that it crashes mplayer, and totem will only play the previews; it is completely unable to play the feature title. I don't want to copy this goddamn DVD, I only wanted to be able to play it on my computer since the TV room downstairs was full of LARPers at the time. However, due to your ridiculously anti-consumer copy protection, I had to borrow my roommate's Powerbook in order to accomplish this. I don't like Macs. I already paid you for the movie; why does my software need to pay you to play the movie? Maybe next time I will download your movie instead of paying you for it.

No love, Christine